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Twitter Peeps

10 (but in Reality 13) Kinds of Peeps I Do NOT Follow on Twitter

Straight Up

I’m not gonna beat around the bush. I’m simply not the ‘you follow me, I follow you’ kind of Twitter gal! If you like what you see and want to follow me, my tweets and blog, then by all means “Ahlan Wa Sahlan” [an Arabic saying meaning - you're welcome, come on in....] But you can be damn sure that for every new follower I get, I will take the time to check their tweets and profile as well as their link if they have one (which I hope they do) to see whether the interest is mutual. I don’t mean to sound arrogant in any way, especially since I’m rather new to the blogosphere (almost 1 year) and am still learning everyday, but I’m not gonna’ lie and tell you that I won’t judge the quality of your tweets and general persona. I will!

image credit: HubSpot.com

I’m looking to connect and engage with like-minded individuals (individuals being the key word here) who have useful or interesting things to share – which in turn I can re-share with others. So if your Twitter stream consists solely of:

  • Shameless self-promoting tweets of your blog posts or brand
  • Advice on how to gain a billion followers in a month,
  • Adult content (porn)
  • Or any of the other No No’s that I’ve listed below

Then please don’t take it personally if I don’t follow you back. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not that into you :)!

My Not Sooo Shameless and Justified Self-promotion

A few months ago I wrote an article called “Twitter No No’s: To Tweet & Not to Tweet”. It pertains to my personal experience with Twitter, what I do and don’t do and what things to share and not share. It’s actually quite useful and very much related to this post. Now, that right here would be me shamelessly (or not) promoting one of my older posts on my blog nittyGriddy.com – but in my defense, it’s a sort of extension to what I’m about to communicate to you now.

Here are my “thanks, but no thanks” list of profiles. Please note however, that there are always exceptions to all of these.

Why I Don’t Follow you

1- You have no avatar

As pretty as the Twitter egg may be, it’s not what’s gonna’ attract me to you. I don’t care if it’s a snapshot of you on your worst day, or one of your favorite cartoon character or even if it’s your blog or company logo – I simply care that you have one. Not much else to say here since this should go without saying.

Bottom line – come out, come out, wherever you are!

2- Your profile says zilch

If I don’t know what you or your blog/brand/company are about, then what incentive do I have for connecting with you? It doesn’t take more than a minute or two to fill this field out. It’s not like you’re required to write a 500 word essay. How hard can it be to talk about yourself or your company in one sentence? Most people can’t shut up when they start talking about themselves! Heck, I can talk about myself for pages!

Bottom line – say anything, but say something!

3- You follow 41,734 people but only 86 follow you

I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but how interesting can you and your tweets possibly be if only 0.0001% (too lazy to calculate the actual percentage) of your connections follow you back? And that’s if they’re following you back.

Bottom line – work on the ratio!

4- You follow 58 people but 1 gazillion follow you

First off, I’m flattered and super excited that you’d like to include me in your elite and worthy list of people to follow. That’s where my exception comes in. If you’re a news service or someone like @mashable, @techcrunch, @tamar, @ViperChill, @chrisbrogan, @ProBlogger, @FamousBloggers, @ladygaga, @aplusk, @Oprah, @TheEllenShow…and not someone who’s just looking to grow their list and then later unfollow, then hell yes – I’ll follow you (if I don’t already)! I don’t quite see what Lady Gaga and I have in common and why she’d want to follow me but it would rock if she did! But Ellen on the other hand…I think she could relate to my sense of humor :D.

Bottom line – you’re too cool for Tweetschool!

5- You haven’t tweeted since the first “Twilight” movie came out

I’m not the biggest vampire flick fan, but it seems that many people are these days. I’d like to think that 4 or 5 weeks of a Twitter free life is somewhat acceptable – but not more! It may just be that you’re on vacation and that’s fine – I took a pretty long one myself this summer. There’s always a valid reason for taking a break. But if I visit your page and I see spiders crawling through webs or I see that your last tweet is as old as Edward Cullen (the 104 year old hottie vamp from Twilight), then I’m not interested in engaging with you since it seems you’re not interesting in engaging with anyone.

Bottom line – come out of your coffin!

6- Your tweets are in a foreign language that I don’t understand

I’m lucky to have followers from all around the world. But they tweet in 1 of the 4 earthly languages that I speak. Actually, 99.99% of them Tweet in English as do I – I just wanted to toot my own linguistic horn by telling you that I’m fluent in 4! Fellow Peeps of the Twittersphere – I don’t speak Hindu, Farsi or Chinese. I also don’t speak Swedish or German, so you’ll have to please forgive my first name for misleading you to think that I may.

Bottom line – no English, no follow!

7-You’re a self-centered twitterer that doesn’t RT or @ reply

This may be hard for you to swallow, but the Twittersphere does not revolve around you! The whole point of Twitter is to share and engage and not simply self promote. So if that’s all you’re interested in doing, then I’m not interested in you. If I look at your stream and you haven’t RT’d or @ replied to anyone in 3 pages, then why on earth do I want to follow you if you don’t seem to be engaging or interested in others? There are loads of fascinating, insightful, talented, funny…people out there with awesome stuff to share. Help them spread their word because they may just reciprocate your gesture. If you think about it, this is pretty good relationship advice as well :)!

Bottom line – don’t act like a spoiled little brat who doesn’t want to share his toys because if you do, none of the other kids are gonna’ want to play with you.

8- You’re all about where you are

I’ll be honest here. I don’t give a hoot about where you’re currently located and what town you’re the Mayor of. I’m all for people using Foursquare and other location based services – they’re great – but if that’s all you’re willing to tweet then Twitter off! Having a few of these in your stream is totally cool but don’t over do it.

Bottom line – you’re nowhere but here to me!

9- Your profile rocks but we just don’t click – Sometimes it just happens. You may have an awesome profile and seem like an A+ guy or girl, but it may just be that I’m not interested in the same things as you are.

Bottom line – please don’t take it personally, but we just weren’t meant to be!

10- You are a self-proclaimed “guru”, “master”… of Social Media or other

I love Social Media too, but I’m simply an enthusiast and avid learner! I’m not a guru, master or expert of any kind. Having these ‘greater than God’ type adjectives on your profile don’t tell me much about you – because after all, in this day and age, who doesn’t like Social Media? The folks who actually have a proven track record in that field don’t refer to themselves in these ways.

Bottom line – guru’s are so passé!

I’m sure there are many more of these kinds of Peeps and Tweeps that I missed. What other one’s don’t you follow?

image credit: Woofie Twitter Icon

Ingrid Abboud aka 'Griddy' is a whole lot of things with a ridiculous amount of interests. For one, I'm a Social Media enthusiast with a tremendous passion for writing and blogging. I'm also a pretty cool Copywriter but a more serious MarCom Consultant. But most of all, I'm the proud owner and driving force behind nittyGriddy.com - A Kinda Social Media Journal with Net News & more.

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{ 121 comments… add one }

  • Mark July 16, 2011, 8:50 am

    Hi Ingrid,

    Good points about what not to do to get followers on Twitter.

    I once set up three PHP scripts on my server, one to auto-follow, one to tweet and one to auto-unfollow those that didn’t follow me back.

    It automated the building a high catalog of followers, but the account was worthless.

    It just turned out to be a ton of bots having conversations with each other.

    For any social media platform to be a viable source of traffic, whoever owns the account has to be there interacting with people and that’s the only way it will work.

    Thanks for the great article.

    Mark

  • David Leonhardt March 29, 2011, 8:12 am

    …and anybody else that I don’t see a reason to interact with, because I already follow too many people to have a positive relationship with even half of them.
    David Leonhardt recently posted..Animate Thy BlogMy Profile

  • Fran Aslam From Onlinewriter March 18, 2011, 5:16 pm

    Hi Ingrid:

    I read your tweet today on March 18, 2011, regarding this post on my site and I came here,
    since I read your post, it was impossible for me not to write a comment. Here I am writing a comment for you. I read the post, surprised that you know that Arabic phrase, and its meanings. Well, I like your post about following on Twitter you have certain rule that you follow. I do that too. It is very important for me to read the profile. Good read
    Fran A
    Fran Aslam From Onlinewriter recently posted..Creating Best Ranking Post With Content WritingMy Profile

    • Ingrid Abboud March 18, 2011, 9:08 pm

      Hi Fran,
      Thanks for coming over here and sharing. I’m glad you enjoyed the post.

      Oh, and I’m Lebanese – so besides English, French and Arabic are my mother tongues :).
      Have a good weekend.
      Cheers
      Ingrid Abboud recently posted..Are Your Tweets TimelyMy Profile

  • Riad Afyouni March 18, 2011, 4:43 pm

    That is actually one of the few articles that I have read without skipping some text. Good job.

    I would add one to the list:

    I wouldn’t follow you if you have an IDENTITY MISS-MATCH, in other words, if your profile description states that you are a social media guru and all about tech-stuff, yet your profile pictures shows a hot babe wearing a sexy bikini with your last tweet being “I feel lonely tonight”….Then don’t expect me to follow.

    PS: Am not saying that social media gurus are not sexy…but I like things to match :)

    Thanks.

    • Ingrid Abboud March 18, 2011, 9:11 pm

      Hey Riad,
      Ha! I didn’t think of that one actually – thanks for sharing :). And I’d definitely have to agree with ya. Well, that and the guru thing.

      I’m glad I kept you captivated enough to not skip around.
      Thanks for stopping by and sharing. Appreciated.

      Have great weekend.
      Cheers
      Ingrid Abboud recently posted..Are Your Tweets TimelyMy Profile

  • Sergio Felix March 18, 2011, 4:02 pm

    lol Ingrid,

    I just died a little bit inside after reading “the 104 year old hottie vamp from Twilight” but you are still one hot appealing blogger!

    On the other hand, I find your rant (or post) very VERY good.

    In my short experience I have tried auto following and auto DM’s and honestly every freaking marketing course out there tells you to automate everything.

    Marketers will tell you to automate all you can and bloggers will tell you to NOT automate anything.

    Bottom line out of it?

    Decide what you’re doing online and go with it.

    I personally would never EVER automate ANYTHING on my personal twitter account, really.

    Stay great Ingrid!

    ~Sergio

    • Ingrid Abboud March 18, 2011, 9:32 pm

      Hey Sergio,
      Awesome of you to stop by and share your thoughts here. Thank you.

      I”m glad you liked this post and what can I say – I may not know that 104 year old dude’s name but it seems he’s got all the ladies going gaga over him lol. Honestly – whatever!

      I’m sure it must get confusing going back and forth between those 2 different point of views. And when you’re both a marketer and a blogger – yikes! haha

      Look – I know a lot of people automate stuff – and to an extent – it’s fine – as long as it’s getting the job done and the results you want. But I truly believe in talking with those same people you’re automating. Show them you are human. Show them you are there if they need you or have questions. If you’re only selling and your entire stream is about you – then I for one am not going to be interested.

      I’m far from being a Twitter expert – or an expert of any kind – but I know what works for me (so far) – and that is ENGAGE – SHARE others work – REPLY – show them you’re genuinely interested – make the effort with those that make the effort with you. However – the automated DM’s – the one’s with FB page links or whatever – those I’m not interested in. If I get one – I don’t delete the person – because if I followed them back in the first place – it means they are tweeting things that interest me and they are doing a few of the things I mentioned in this post.

      Anyhow – whatever you do – best of luck to you. And in all honesty – I think you’re doing a heck of a job connecting with folks – at least with me you are :). And I appreciate that as well as all your support.

      Have a great weekend.
      Cheers
      Ingrid Abboud recently posted..Are Your Tweets TimelyMy Profile

      • Sergio Felix March 19, 2011, 2:54 am

        You just totally rocked my morning (1:00am) Ingrid!

        I will get some very cool sleep after reading this, thank you for your awesome reply, I never know how I manage to get such great replies but I can tell you from the bottom of my heart… I freaking love each and every one!

        Really, I appreciate it a lot.

        PS. I thought that being a marketer was going to be hard, but being a blogger is just insanely harder! I’m definitely going to delete the “blogger” bit of my twitter description, I really don’t deserve to have that term there (plus I murdered my blog -long story-) if somebody asked me to say only one thing about bloggers I would immediately say ‘RESPECT’.

        You guys are just that awesome.

        Take care señorita ;-)

  • Kali Readwin March 18, 2011, 3:20 pm

    Well said! I operate by the same rules.

    One other thing that turns me off (sorry) is people whose tweets are always full of swears and unending typos. I know there are only 140 characters, but come on! It’s possible to sound like an adult online and still have fun with it!

    Great list, Ingrid.

    • Ingrid Abboud March 18, 2011, 9:22 pm

      Hi Kali,

      I’m glad you share my thoughts here :).
      Ha! I didn’t think of the swearing tweets – thanks for mentioning it – and yes, you’re right about that. I think a few here and there are fine – as long as there’s something of value within the tweet – but if all I’m seeing in the stream is some rap song from the 90’s (excuse my terrible analogy lol) then I’m not so interested.

      Great of you stop by and share. Thanks.
      Cheers
      Ingrid Abboud recently posted..Are Your Tweets TimelyMy Profile

  • Mark Harai February 19, 2011, 10:59 am

    Hey Ingrid — thank you for sending me this link… I figured I would give you my feedback here.

    I agree with every point you’ve made here. I can’t help but reflect on where I started on my Twitter journey just a few short years ago. I’ve certainly learned a bunch and continue to learn to this day – mostly because, well, I’m slower than most : )

    I think sometimes, myself included, people in social media get caught up in the social media bubble so-to-speak. Because we’ve figured a few things out by participation for a while, we may assume others have as well — and the truth is, the Twitter community at this point represents a very small fraction of communities we live in and/or the global community as a whole. There are many new people on the platform everyday who, like ourselves when we started, don’t get it at all!

    That’s why I’ve started sharing a bit of my Twitter experience on my blog. Maybe, just maybe someone new to Twitter will get some insight and value out of my experiences and insight. That’s my hope anyway.

    Keep moving shaking up the community with your words and actions Ingrid – you really rock and roll!
    Mark Harai recently posted..Kick-Ass Blogging Series- John Falchetto – The Expat Life CoachMy Profile

    • Ingrid Abboud March 18, 2011, 9:18 pm

      Hey Mark,
      Wow – I’m glad I stopped by here today :).
      I’m pleased you liked this post and although it leaned a little on the humorous side – I actually do abide by those little rules that I’ve made up for myself and for whoever cares to follow them.

      As for Twitter – I learn more and more everyday. I only started using it about 6 months ago – although I signed up for an account about a year ago – but didn’t make much use of it. Ahhhh, if I could only do a few things differently when it comes to blogging – seriously – if I knew then half of what I know now – then I would have made better use of all the tools that are staring us in the face. Oh well…better late than never I suppose.

      I think it’s great that you share your Twitter experience along the way and I’m sure – actually I know – that it will help many folks. More people should use Twitter the way you do my friend! :)

      I really appreciate you taking the time to come over here and sharing your thoughts. Don’t worry – I won’t apologize for being a month late in replying – to the date!!! LOL

      Have a super weekend.
      Cheers
      Ingrid Abboud recently posted..Are Your Tweets TimelyMy Profile

  • Wayne John February 17, 2011, 6:32 pm

    What’s so wrong with porn?
    Wayne John recently posted..How to automate tweets with the Twitter APIMy Profile

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