How to Create Conversations and Connections through Comments

December 15, 2010 - Last Modified: December 15, 2010 by Ashley Pichea

One of the things I’ve learned over the course of the past few months is how to create conversations and connections through comments.

One of my goals as a blogger is to connect with each of my readers in a real way – to encourage each of my readers personally and to challenge them to take action. When a readers leaves a comment on a post, I then have the opportunity to interact with them on an individual level – this is what I love! When I respond to a reader’s comment, I try to include a few key elements:

Thank the reader for visiting the blog and taking the time to comment on the post.
Acknowledge (or challenge) the validity of the comment and the effect it has on the conversation as a whole.
Create room for a follow-up discussion with a question or request for more of their thoughts on the topic.

The commenting system that I use on my blog allows me to respond to each comment individually. It also sends me and the commenter emails when comments are left on a post, so I’m sure not to miss any comments or responses to comments. It allows for better connection and conversation through the comments.

I also love to comment on other blogs, building connections with other bloggers. Here are a few guidelines I try to follow when I comment:

Find a statement in the post that resonates with me. Copy/paste it into the comments and explain why it struck me.
Thank the blogger for posting – explain how/why the post was beneficial to me.
Ask questions or leave room for a response – this is key to starting a conversation and connection.

Recently, I’ve discovered that “popular” blogs are a great place to build relationships and connections through comments. I’ve started leaving quality comments on “bigger” blogs within my niche and surroundings niches, and I’ve begun to created conversations and connections with other readers of the “popular” blogs. Commenting regularly on these blogs not only keeps them “popular,” but it also helps me to create a name for myself among their readership, bringing readers to my blog. If someone is commenting on a “bigger” blog and pops over to my blog, chances are likely that they’ll comment on my blog as well!

Since we’re talking about creating conversations and connections through comments, I’d love for you to take a minute to leave me a comment on this post using one or more of the guidelines I shared above. Are there any other guidelines you use when leaving comments to create conversations and connections?

About Ashley Pichea

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Ashley Pichea is a wife and mom (2 year old boy and an almost 4 year old girl), as well as being a blogger, an online student (pursuing an MA in Ministry), and activelyseeks to encourage others through blogging and social media.

{ 66 Responses }

Karan Labra says:

Nice suggestions.
Gladys says:

This is the type of blogs i like..more casual and more interactive than the other. You can make question and you got some answer. Great Idea on making this one, I surely be back here and make some friends out of all you guys here especially to you ashley.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks! I look forward to getting to know you!
  - gladys says:
    
    oh great :) .. hope you got chatroom..hehehe
RosaleenRosy says:

hey, I love your description about how you comment. You’re so right – comments can add so much to a post!
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks for taking the time to comment! I'd love to know how YOU use comments??
rob says:

Ashley, This is how people should do it. Commentators should find blogs they are truly interested in, and have *some* knowledge about, so their comments add some value and further the conversations. If they don't have a comment they should not leave anything. It's better than the "nice post" comment. I track quite a few blogs and have become "friends" with the owners of the ones I frequent the most. Often, they will ask me for a guest post, etc. Becoming a part of the community rather than a spammer is how to do it.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Rob, I completely agree - targeting blog rather than randomly commenting all around the blogosphere is a great way to build relationships and "expertise."
Mike says:

Hi Ashley, Very nice share about 3 ways you are responding to comments to create connections and conversations. Commenting systems like Disqus or InstantDebate help your blog become more interactive by providing tools for people to like the comment, post video comment and to reply it. I will recommend you to try Facebook comment system that enables you to spread your blog indirectly. I say "indirectly" because every time a person post his comment, that comment will appear on his wall and become visible for lots of his friends. So, if he is caring about a certain topic, we can be sure that he at least got several friends who have the same interest, right? And of course, you can always combine Facebook comment and Wordpress comment together :)
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I haven't seen any Facebook commenting systems... do you have any suggestions? I like the idea!
Jeevan Jacob John says:

Hi Ashley, Great Tips, Great Read ! My main goal (when I comment) is to write (comment) something different. (A unique comment, just like the "unique content"). One thing I want to mention here is a mistake I did : Even though I advised my readers to comment on other blogs, I never did it. (I knew I was doing it wrong, but I was procrastinating everyday). Then, I decided to change my "Attitude" - to comment on other blogs (that I find interesting and worth-a-comment). Thanks for the awesome read ! I hope you had a great time writing and reading comments and/or replies. Jeevan Jacob John
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I am a big "unique comments" person - each blog I comment on (or commenter I respond to) deserves a individual response. I find that this is a much better way to create conversations than posting a generic response on multiple posts.
TJ McDowell says:

I think one of the big downfalls to the way I see some people commenting is that they drop a comment that doesn't do much to actually add to the conversation. At my blog, I don't approve comments like "great post". If they had followed your advice and talked about WHY the post was great, or instead had commented with "great post, but ...". The basic rule of thumb for me is that if a spambot would have written the same thing, it's going to get trashed.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I don't get many "great post" comments usually, but when I do, I tend to ignore them. Maybe I should start asking "why" they thought it was a "great post" - get them to start talking! Thanks for the thought...
  - Dennis Edell says:
    
    Ya know what Ashley, that's actually a really good idea. Thanks! Afterward, notice if they ever come back, if not just delete both comments. ;-)
Eduard - People Skills Decoded says:

As trivial as it may sound, I think that the key to having a conversation through blog comments is actually having a conversation. Don't just write a reply automatically and be a walking cliche. Engage people.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Eduard, Your thoughts are right on. Engagement is the key.
Alex says:

Hi Ashley, Usually commenting on people's post after reading them and learning something new, is an acknowledgment of their hard work and time they put into writing that specifying article. So leaving a comment is just like appreciating an artist after finishing his masterpiece, thus boosting their confidence and spurring them on to write more useful content that we/I would find useful.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I like what you said about commenting being a way to show appreciation and boost confidence! I love it when readers leave comments about how what I said impacts their lives - it encourages me and spurs me on to write more "life-changing" content. Thanks for bringing this aspect of commenting into the conversation!
Karan says:

well, I respond to each an every comment that I receive on my blog and I think that it is really working out well for me.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Karan, That's great that you take the time to respond to comments! Keep up the great work!
Dennis Edell says:

Right smack on Ashley, I've grown very responsive communities on blogs doing exactly what you suggested. Tip: Don't just thank regular commenters, be sure to welcome new ones. You will get grateful responses for the warm reception. :)
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks for sharing that tip - what a great way to highlight and encourage great commenting. I will definitely have to remember that as I engage with my readers (new and old) in the comment section!
  - Dennis Edell says:
    
    You'll love it Ashley. You should get a response from all that are not just spammers. (Tip: try to remember those that do not respond for later) Not only will they respond to thank you, most will automatically continue the conversation because you just made them comfortable. ;-)
Lennart Heleander says:

Hi Ashley, I always read the comments on good and interesting articles, many times, new ideas and ways of thinking to come up. But the big problem is usually that too much spam comments to the article and they approved by the authors, so it becomes a boring reading instead. (Spam comments are for me; good article, nice writing, looking over it, only two or three words.)
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Spam comments can definitely be an issue. I think the sign of a blogger who cares about their community is one who is quick to eliminate spam comments (or set up moderation of comments to avoid spammers). Personally, I check in on my comments a few times a day, but let all comments post immediately so feedback isn't delayed.
Tinh says:

Thank you seems the most easy to say word that everyone can say but many of bloggers never say so. That is a big pity :-)
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  It is nice to hear "thank you!" I like to thank my commenters through action as well as word!
Murlu says:

Generally, when I'm responding to my own comments I'll try to delve a bit deeper into the idea that's presented to continue with the discussion and that also allows me to open up other questions; if the blogger gets a small alert saying that they've received a comment and see that it's not a canned response than they generally come back and it continues :)
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  That is one area where I'm still learning - taking the conversation past the initial comment. Thanks for sharing!
Patricia says:

Hi Ashley I have just done my most recent post on commenting (and tweeting) as it seems that a lot of people were asking me how I get so many comments on my blog. Also I was wondering why some people seem to comment heaps whereas others appear not to. Got me pondering and it was amazing how much conversation it generated. I don't particularly target big blogs. As I interact with bloggers thoughout the blogosphere I meet bigger bloggers and newbies alike. Like to encourage the newbies and learn from those more experienced than me. Networking is an important part of my daily activities and I really enjoy it. This seems to be working as I feel over the past few months that I have been blogging seriously, have learnt heaps. Also met some lovely people along the way. Patricia Perth Australia
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I struggle to get readers to comment on my blog - even when I am faithful about interacting with them. I've heard that only about 1% of readers are active readers, though. And if that's true, then I'm not doing too horribly as I have about 5% of my readers interacting regularly with my posts. I do best when I actually ask people to comment on something specific.
Nasrul Hanis says:

Agree with your points! Without comment we are not able to know and discuss each other and by commenting we are making ourselves visible to other readers and visitors! Be sincere. Be appreciative. And be active. And people will start to notice about your ideas and thoughts through your comments.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks for your kind words. I like what you said about not being able to know each other. I have a hard time writing for an audience that I don't know!
Ben Lang says:

Awesome, guess I have to start doing this more often, starting now. Thanks for the heads up!
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks for reading! I hope you're able to build some great conversation through comments!
Devesh says:

What an awesome Post! Blog commenting is one of my favorite way to get traffic, backlinks and build relationship with author of a blog. I think every one should try blog commenting, it's an awesome way to connect with other bloggers. Thanks for sharing this amazing post. Great Job.
- Nasrul Hanis says:
  
  You are right, Devesh! Nowadays we have dofollow blogs where we can get a lot of backlinks but if we are looking to build relationship and grow our reputation, I think commenting on a lot of blogs i enough :D
  - Ashley Pichea says:
    
    By commenting regularly (with quality comments) you can build a reputation as an "expert" and bring traffic to your blog. Those are the people most likely to give you "free" links, too!
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks! I find I have more "ownership" in other blogs when I'm a regular contributor in the comment section. It definitely helps me to feel more connected!
Kevin Martineau says:

I’ve started leaving quality comments on “bigger” blogs within my niche and surroundings niches, and I’ve begun to created conversations and connections with other readers of the “popular” blogs. Hi Ashley: This is something that I have been doing too and it definitely has helped in bringing traffic to my blog. I am a Christian blogger too and I would be interested to know which blogs you are connecting on. I look forward to your response. :) Kevin
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Hi Kevin! So great to meet another "Christian" blogger! Some of the blogs I've started being more vocal on recently are The Gospel Coalition, Michael Hyatt's blog, and (in)courage. I'd love to hear of any other blogs you might find interesting and worth checking out!
  - Kevin Martineau says:
    
    Thanks for the recommendations Ashley! I haven't been on "The Gospel Coalition" or "(in) courage". I am on my way to check them out! :) For more recommendations you can go to my blog and check out my Favourite Links Friday posts. Every week I highlight some of the great posts that I read during that week (this post will definitely be on it this week:)
    - Ashley Pichea says:
      
      Glad to be able to introduce you to a few "new" blogs! I appreciate you including this post on your weekly link-up. Some of the bloggers in that list are "big" and it was an honor to be included!
Kevin Martineau says:

"I’ve started leaving quality comments on “bigger” blogs within my niche and surroundings niches, and I’ve begun to created conversations and connections with other readers of the “popular” blogs. " This is something that I have been doing too. I am also a Christian blogger and I am curious to know which sites you are visiting and commenting on. Some of my favourites are: http://withoutwax.tv/ http://michaelhyatt.com/ and http://stuffchristianslike.net/ I look forward to your response. :) Kevin
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I've not heard of "withoutwax"... I'll have to check it out!
  - Kevin Martineau says:
    
    Oops! I thought this comment was blocked because of the links. :) I highly recommend Pete's blog: withoutwax.tv
    - Hesham says:
      
      Hey Kevin, as long as I know you , and you post relevant links, I won't see a reason to remove it :)
Kevin from Simplebutcreative says:

This is pretty much right on the dot! My main focus is not only to interact with my readers but to show that I care and ready to help :) Good one!
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Thanks! It's like the saying goes... nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care!
  - Kevin says:
    
    I agree with you on that :)
Don Power - Managing Editor Sprout Social Insights Blog says:

Hi Ashley! I've been doing this blogging thing for a while now and I've found that the best way to build an audience for your blog is to read and comment on other blogs - like this one for example! I'm taking things one step further on my new blog - Sprout Social: Insights (the official blog of Social CRM app Sprout Social) with a series I created called Fan Friday (#FanFriday on Twitter). Every Friday I pick 4 people from all of the folks who provide quality comments on the blog and I highlight them, their comment and provide links back to their blog/website/Twitter and their original comment on the blog. It's been so popular that last Friday's Fan Friday post generated the highest single day Page Views EVER on the Sprout Social: Insights blog. You can click on my Comment Luv (hi Andy!) link below to see that edition of the Fan Friday post. There's still time to be included on this coming Friday's Fan Friday post if you or any of your readers would like to comment on ANY post from Sprout Social: Insights Thanks and keep up the great work! - Don
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  What a great idea for highlighting quality commenters! I've been looking for ways to do so... I will definitely keep this idea in mind. Thanks for sharing!
Adam says:

Great advice. I always try to follow up with every comment on my blog. Even though there are not many at this point. Thanks for sharing!
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I try to do the same! And when I have time, I try to visit the blogs of the people leaving comments and comment on their posts, too. It's a great way to build community and show that you care!
Gera says:

Hi Ashley, I like to thank a lot, this is the case! I relate in all terms with the article and love to interact - hey I'm a social media fan! The theme of the replies individually should be a must, but I know lot of bloggers that haven’t a button-reply, even less a follow up by email. A recommendation should be begin to add this elements to the blogs, if they aren’t by default. I see you're using Disqus for that task. Fundamental having "space" in the article or some point lacking to have something to comment as a reader. I've found articles that covered allllllll, really all, and you can't add nothing than great-post, so I prefer to not comment in that cases. Cheers, Gera
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  Gera, Yes. I LOVE Disqus for being able to reply individually to each comment left! I often email the commenter as well as replying in the thread, and that has led to some great connections as well!
Ryan Biddulph says:

Hi Ashley, These kind of posts are one of the main reasons why I blog. I LOVE commenting! Thanks for sharing your keen insight on an important topic. I treat comments like content: I write an introduction, body and wrap up section for each comment. I also time myself: 3-5 minutes for each comment written. Many mistakenly rush through blog after blog, leaving quick comments or even worse, the dreaded comment drive-by. What these folks forget is that you can be everywhere without being nowhere, meaning that you can show up everywhere without making any kind of impact. People who make an impact become powerful. People who don't make an impact never become notable. Stop rushing and make an impact with each comment you decide to write. Since sticking to my "comments as content" policy my traffic has exploded, comments have increased exponentially and my home based opportunity has grown significantly too. It pays to make an impact :) Have a powerful day Ashley! RB
- Gera says:
  
  Hi Ryan, I've the same criteria when it's possible about “comments as content” and it's a good way to brand-yourself and have conversations with other bloggers. Cheers, Gera
  - Ryan Biddulph says:
    
    I appreciate it Gera :) RB
- Hesham says:
  
  Off topic, you have a very nice recent post, I had to submit it to BizSugar.com ;) http://www.bizsugar.com
  - Ryan Biddulph says:
    
    Thanks Hesham, I appreciate it! I left a comment for you on BizSugar :) RB
  - Hung Hong says:
    
    BusinessSugar.com? may be wring address
    - Hesham says:
      
      Sorry, I fixed that: Here is Ryan's post over BizSugar : Clever Ways to Advertise Your Home Based Opportunity.
- Ashley Pichea says:
  
  I love your description about how you comment. You're so right - comments can add so much to a post! As an online student, I have to write a number of "comments" (discussion responses within forums) and we use a similar structure. I have been wanting to incorporate this structure into my comments on blogs as well. Thanks for sharing!

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