Why Some Bloggers Lose Relationships Even Before Building It

September 23, 2010 - Last Modified: September 23, 2010 by Hesham Zebida

When it comes to blogging and community building we should be smart dealing with others, you will find out how easy it is to make good friends through blogging as you grow day after day.

The way we communicate with each other is the key for building relationships. I prefer a very simple and straight way, especially when I send or receive emails as life is really getting extra loaded with new tasks, plans and events, and I am sure we all are getting much busy than ever as we grow our businesses.

Some people shoot without thinking!

This is true, unless you are a pro talking machine and you are really gifted.

Darren Rowse have got a wide experience, not everyone will be , experience is gained by years of hard work, Problogger.com is 6 years old now, I’ve enjoyed listening and watching what Darren have learned over 6 years of blogging at ProBlogger, I wish I can embed his video into my post, but it’s not fair, you must watch it on his land.

From the very deep of my heart, I wish Darren more bright future, and Happy Birthday Problogger. I’ve learned something new today from you.

Some Bloggers lose relationships even before building it!

Some people lose their relationships because they don’t have a style, they are not educated in this area in a way or another, they are not nice by nature, they are used to shoot words without thinking. The real problem is they never learn from their mistakes because they don’t realize it.

They could hurt a few other people on a daily bases just because they don’t really use their minds, they will end with no friends, and they will be rejected where ever they go, I can say that a healthy blogging community or network will not accept them, they are not able to build relationships, Do you agree?

The less you talk, the less mistakes you do!

If you find out that you have this problem, I advise you to hold your horses, and think before you talk. I know that some people will never realize it, but advising you will not cost me anything!

From recent conversations at FamousBloggers, I had a conclusion that most of us agree on, replying to comments is something we all should do, but I want to say it’s much more important in my opinion to know how to reply to comments and answer your readers, you should try to make people feel good about you and about your blog, help them to learn something new, remind them with something they should do, give them a reason to visit you again, and.. build a community.

Alright, time to focus on business, and.. enough saying!

About Hesham Zebida

Follow @hishaman

I create websites with WordPress, and I develop Schema Plugins to help SEOs. I am a social network lover. I am also the night creature who works hard to keep this project up. Owner and founder of the Famous Blog.

{ 64 Responses }

Harshit Singhal says:

I totally agree with your article. Infact the stepping stone for success as a blogger is to build successfull relationships with other bloggers. You can write all the great content you want but unless you reach out to your readers you can't achieve success. I have learned this the hard way myself.
John says:

there is a science to building relationships on the web. Because when you write people only get a 2 dimensional conversation. SO you need to be careful how you express what you are thinking.
John says:

I am guilty of quite a few of these. I have stopped and looked at who I could have done things better, so now hopefully I will deal with things better.
Paul Tech says:

The less we talk, the lesser mistakes made. You have a point as we may unwittingly lose readers by rubbing them off the wrong way with comments that are not well thought out. Might as well don't reply in the first place.
shashank chinchli says:

I have met a lot of bloggers through this blog, Really this blog is too informative for newbies like me, I do read your blogs & comments too :) I liked this line "Building relations in blogging is same like making relations offline" ! Thanks for sharing this awesome post Man ! Keep Rockin !!
Larry Rivera says:

Hi Hesham, I think I am guilty a bit. I started writing better articles and started getting more people commenting. The first few months I was so caught up in what I was doing I neglected the people that where commenting. I think it was that neglect that gave me a slow start. Now though visiting blogs like yours and others I am starting to better understand the ways of *real bloggers and since applying a lot of what I have learned my community seems to be growing.. Great article Larry
Usama says:

Not everyone has the art to improvise. So choose your words carefully because either words can lead to disaster or success.
Zahra Youssry says:

Good article, but the most magnificent people have no friends! Sometimes, relations with the others are curse! Sorry for this opinion, but it's a fact!
TJ McDowell says:

So what are some of the signs that someone is shooting off a comment without thinking? Is it based on being too critical or maybe a comment that doesn't relate to the post. Did you have particular comments in mind when you wrote this?
lawmacs says:

I think one of the problem is when some of us as bloggers starting to grow our community we start engaging with more and more bloggers/commentors and sometime some one gets left behind. I try to stick to my community although not always possible but this is the reasons why i started "Round Ups" where i can mentioned them at some point. Building relationsghip is very important and this is something i try to get better at. Some very important point Hesham and as always you lead by example.
ZK says:

At the initial point or at the beginning stage be a observer, be a listener instead of speaker.
John Paul says:

Hesham..Very nice post. We have talked about bloggers helping bloggers many times.. and I believe we agree on how important this is. This works the same way in comments.. you need to add value to the conversation.. add something that makes you look good, and adds value to other readers. I am honest, and str8 forward, I rather tell you the truth in an nice way to help you, then to lie to make you feel good. If what you say comes from a good place, then it is fine to voice your opinion, and if it is helpful, it makes it that much more rewarding. Share, be real, be str8, offer value man,, all it is about.
Tinh says:

You are right, many bloggers are not thinking carefully when talking or commenting about something. This usually happens when they try to comment without reading the whole post. Nice idea but I do not think bloggers need to be educated in this area to be a problogger :-)
Kimi says:

I guess it is different for everyone, just like in a daily life, some people would like us to be quiet than saying something "hurt", but some people will like to hear things, even those things are meant to critisize. Critics can make us more better than we are now. IMO Thanks for the post Hesham.
Manz says:

Nice post Hesham. Blog are about sharing more from a personal point of view. If your visitors talk to you, a considerate reply is one of the nicest things you can do online... after all the author is the one that started the conversation. Imagine bumping into a neighbour and saying how good you feel today and how about you?... only to turn your back and walk away...
panther says:

Blogging is sharing of opinions and ideas. In my mind, it is the contemporary method of communication that does not happen at the dinner table or water cooler. We are simply learning everyday just like we did in our schooldays, only we are all students and teachers at the same time. Good Luck.......
Katie Rainer says:

I think a lot of it is bloggers just forgetting that they are dealing with people. When some people post on their blog, they don't give advice - they don't share opinions and they don't talk about themselves. People that read blogs buy into people - if the person writing the blog doesn't seem human, they won't get interested readers.
- Hesham says:
  
  Thank you Katie, well said!
Jeevan Jacob John says:

Hesham, I think you have effectively answered the question you posed in the title. I do agree with you that some bloggers are unable to form relationships. My advise to them is learn by from other bloggers - How other bloggers effectively engage with their readers. Great Post as always ! Jeevan jacob john
- Hesham says:
  
  Jeevan, I wish I've used a title like " Why some bloggers are unable to form relationships?" awesome! Thank you for the advice! learning from other is great!
  - Jeevan Jacob John says:
    
    Thanks and Welcome. The problem is that bloggers wish not to learn. Its not that they are unable. They want to make money. Their goal is make more money. They don't care about the subcribers. If they did, they wouldn't be like this. I wish they would just learn from other (we would have had more competition if they did ;) )
    - Hesham says:
      
      And those who don't wish to learn they usually don't listen to advice! haha yes buddy, that's true
Henway says:

Great tips here. I think this is valuable advice that could be applied in real life too. Too many people open their mouth w/o being aware of the effect of their words. Words are powerful and have a lifetime effect on people. We should always talk the truth, and tell it in a way that makes other people feel better about themselves, or encourage them to take positive action.
- Hesham says:
  
  Henway, this is true.. If we can apply this in our "real life", then we will not need any extra effort, it will give a natural impact, business and relationships success. Thank you for stopping by
Steve says:

Very good points, Comments can sometimes be a lot like something my mother (and likely many mothers) used to say, "if you do not have anything nice to say, don't say anything" That doesn't mean you cannot gently try to steer someone who you think is in error the right way, but you should never (as a blog owner) comment from an emotional standpoint. If a owner is seen to attack commentators it can reach beyond the single commentator and discourage others from commenting and really joining in the blog community.
- Hesham says:
  
  Yes Steve, I am thinking of how to treat people more gentle and nicer not to turn them off! P.S. while we could use the other way to send trouble makers a way ;)
element321 says:

Great post Hesham, I agree making lasting relationship is good. I have made relationships from blogging, but most of stopped blogging but for the ones that stick around is a good thing... As for keeping your mouth shut. I find it easier to do when commenting. I find myself starting off writing up a comment, then when going over it, I realize that maybe I should say anything at all. So delete and keep quite. I find silence is the best if you have nothing good to say...
- Hesham says:
  
  Exactly James, And it's really easy to make a lasting long-term relationship by being nice to others! keep quite is good in many cases ;)
Ryan Biddulph says:

Hi Hesham, I like the message here. This is what resonates with me: "it’s much more important in my opinion to know how to reply to comments." That jewel of wisdom is THE takeaway. Respond in the proper manner and you can't help to build a lasting relationship. BTW thanks again for the opportunity to post on FB, I am honored to be sitting on the Great Pens list :) Ryan
- Hesham says:
  
  Yes Ryan, you have got it all! P.S. You really have a great pen, keep it rolling... it's honor.
AIDYs says:

I agree, Hesham. It is really hard for me at times to comment or post very much due to my being in school, but I do read a lot from my favorite blogger's and spend time on their sites and retweet posts when I do. I really try not to just respond with "good post" or one liners like that. I do continue to support my favorite sites as much as possible. It is important to do this very thing in the blogger world. Thanks for mentioning the key aspects of building blogging relationships, Hesham!
- Hesham says:
  
  Some people are dying to get a "good post" comment, but a longer comment of advice could really make them jumping! P.S. I wrote most of my successful posts in 15 minutes, give this a try: Talk to your self about any topic or idea that matter, type the conversation between you and "you", type everything even if it doesn't make sense, read what you've wrote, edit/remove a few parts, you will have amazing posts! Great day!
Jeff Caceres says:

Hello Hesham, This is where my main problem has begun, losing my own readership. I did lack on thinking in what I want to write that may attract a lot of readers, and now I'm about to evaluate myself. Building good relationships with the other bloggers and subscribers will increase my blog's readership and the comments may even flood out on every blog post. Even a newbie can do it, and this is where I do something to attract the readers. Bottoms up! Jeff
- Hesham says:
  
  Jeff, evaluating is what we need to do from time to time! thank you for the reminder. I agree.. A newbie can achieve what experts can't! P.S. thank you for the awesome recent post!
Rick LaPoint says:

I've only been at this about a month, but I've been making friends with bloggers by going to their sites after seeing their comments here. There really is a great sense of community, which is definitely helpful during discouraging times. It makes it seem we are building together rather than building alone. Rick
- Hesham says:
  
  Rick, I am guilty on this! I don't really visit blogs to comment like before due time issues! but I try to give support in a different ways! Working alone is not good ;) P.S. I think you should be more active on Twitter, it's cool!
Pritam says:

Yes, its very necessary for bloggers to make long relationship. I admit now a days we are extra loaded with so many tasks and other problems but still we can make a strategy to deal with all these. I am also a big fan of Darren Rows and take lots of knowledge from their experience. Your articles are always the best to read. I mostly visit famousbloggers for your articles. Pritam Nagrale
- Hesham says:
  
  Pritam, making this one of our task will not hurt, it's good for business! Darren Rows deserver respect indeed, he have a great story of life to tell. P.S. I appreciate you being a great reader, and I hope to keep this spot in the future :)
Devesh says:

Hey Hesham, Awesome post dude. I'm totally agree with you about building relationship. You always come up with different ideas. Thanks for sharing this awesome post Man :) ! Keep Rockin !!
- Hesham says:
  
  Hey Dev, you are rocking your blog man! haha I try to talk about what's in my mind, that's all!
benin says:

Very well said, Hesham. I like how you summed things up. If I could echo one underlying theme of this piece it would be that relationships are everything. Thanks for reminding us!
- Hesham says:
  
  Hey Benin, yes... certainly relationships are everything! if you have it you have everything else! Wonderful day to you my friend
  - benin says:
    
    Thanks, Hesham. Otherwise, just wanted to say that you're a great example of how being genuine and thinking of others goes a long way. Enjoy your eve too!
JamestheJust on Elance says:

Hesham - Well spoken. It's been said to "be quick to hear, be slow to speak, slow to become angry." I can't say I do that well, but it certainly applies to what you're saying. Now I have to go see what Darren said this time. :) Thanks for the reminder that this is a high calling - running roughshod isn't a smart business plan, especially online where your words last for years...unless, of course, you forget to pay for hosting (whoopsie!).
- Hesham says:
  
  No problem James, we all have a dark side haha We just to reduce the pain as you said, slow become angry! this gives great results! Nice advice! P.S. my hosting will expire soon, ah! good reminder , I have to renew before people get mad with me :)
Rose says:

Hi Hesham, I feel the warm welcome here. I am a newbie blogger, will try to do my best. As a newbie, I will keep your word "The less you talk, the less mistakes you do!" in mind and hopefully, I can build a good and strong relationship with others. :-) Thank you.
- Hesham says:
  
  Hi Rose, Certainly, you will build great relationships if you really want to! P.S. I have added a reply yesterday on another post, I hope you go it, and I hope to see some changes in the future :)
John Sullivan says:

I was nice to many bloggers for along time and I was just thinking would I rather have a friend who really didn't care about me or my success and only theirs but told me all HAPPY Thoughts everyday and Auto Retweeted my posts or a friend that proved they were a friend because they knew the real me ? I am glad your being nice to everyone and I try to be as nice as possible but if your always the one reaching out and supporting that person and they could care less and never say Thanks Why Bother ? I have the Guts to tell bloggers the Truth not just a bunch of BS so they will visit me Nice Guys do finish last sadly and it happen to me many times I am still nice but not to people that I have over time felt don't deserve it I do think I can improve Greatly the way I talk to people And yes it's true that people that keep their mouth shut may do better for a while sometimes along time but they run out of gas eventually. Don't Play the Game Be the Game ;) To Your Continued Success
- Hesham says:
  
  John, you really have a great heart man, I don't have to tell you this because I am sure you know it, your sites and your hard work tell it all, even your great support o the community, I can see awesome stuff! P.S. Don't play the game .. be the game.. I like that! To your success my friend
  - John Sullivan says:
    
    Thanks We all get further working together and although it's sometimes difficult to not get caught up in the disappointments I think if we reflect in honesty and look back in hindsight it's all been well worth it . We have gone to far to quit now and I always try to keep the mindset that I am just getting started and I think about my mistakes and ways to do better. See You @ the TOP
    - Hesham says:
      
      No .. no... I don't want you to be disappointment from anything John, and forgot about the bad people ;) Let's focus!
Dan Lew says:

Hi Hesham, A great post, yes indeed, I think its very important to be friendly with other bloggers not just the first time but over a period of time long term, some people are friendly for the wrong reasons too! Thanks for sharing this insight, you have proven to me that you are more then just a blogger, a true giver at heart!
- Hesham says:
  
  Dan, thank you man, I find a great fellow in you! P.S. thank you for the other comment you added here, I really appreciate your welling to help others, great support!
Whiztechy says:

I totally agree with you Hesham, Building relations in blogging is same like making relations offline. The way you to respond or talk to others, shows your personality. Thus it's very important to process in your mind about what you are going to talk or share. Probloggers learn from thier mistakes and experience and thus know when and how to say things.
- Hesham says:
  
  Whiztechy, this is true, and we all should learn from our mistakes, and not this only, but we should actually share our mistakes with others to learn from! Great day my friend
Santel says:

Thank you for bring up this attention. I learned from my experiences that sometime I post even something that I don't read it all yet. Sometime I post without re read it. Today I focus on contents and as result I start to have more visitors and more shared link via Facebook and Twitter.
- Hesham says:
  
  Creating good content is important, sharing and delivering content to readers is a must otherwise no one will be able to get it! I wish you good luck, you have a nice blog by the way!
Patricia says:

Another very valuable post Hesham. I have only been visiting your blog for a short time but look forward to your posts. You sure do know how to build a community and encourage us newbies by your posts and how you treat us. Thanks. I was only thinking this morning how there are some blogs I don't visit now that I did when I first started out (which wasn't very long ago) and there are new blogs I have discovered that I visit regularly. Why? They make me feel welcome. They appreciate that I have taken the time to read their article (not just skim through) and taken the time to comment and hopefully add to the conversation. When we feel appreciated, we then start to feel we belong. That is important and even today I had a fellow blogger tweet me and ask how my day was going. I was blown away as I haven't known them long, but they are interested in my progress. I am now one of their most frequent commenters and they were just returning some of the luv. Patricia Perth Australia
- Hesham says:
  
  Exactly Patricia , you’ve told what I want to say in a much better way! Talking about Twitter, there is a lot of nice people who really care, I’ve met a lot of my “now” close fellows through it! P.S. believe it or not, but your blog makes me feel good, every visit I smell the “Lavender”, maybe it’s the images, yes.. it’s the images you put in your posts, keep adding theme plz! Have a wonderful day
- Dan Lew says:
  
  Hi Patricia, We all do our best in our own way and there are a lot of helpful bloggers out there, you just have to be in the right inner circle to find them, and by the way If there is any way I can help you please let me know! :)
  - Patricia says:
    
    Thanks so much. I am loving being part of this blogging community. Bloggers sure rock :-) Patricia Perth Australia
    - Dan Lew says:
      
      Oh another Australian too :) Good on ya mate! ;)

Why Some Bloggers Lose Relationships Even Before Building It

Some people shoot without thinking!

Some Bloggers lose relationships even before building it!

The less you talk, the less mistakes you do!

About Hesham Zebida

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Some people shoot without thinking!

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The less you talk, the less mistakes you do!

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